Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The Beef is back in town!

Man, it was good to see Beef and Molly kickin' around the pool again today after that long-ass honeymoon. Looks like they got a thirst on for piña coladas! They are out sittin' in my trick teak chaise lounges, still in relax mode and gettin' some rays. Maybe I'll whip up a little crostini platter lunch for all of us...I been watchin' this bald guy Mark Bittman on TV, he flies to Spain and eats really small pieces of food, and it looks damn good. I'ma do a...I'ma do...garlic shrimp on toasted rounds with olive purée and feta. They say no cheese with seafood, but they do a lotta talkin', so it's bust-out time. I will also do a thing with some three-ballin' white anchovies, hearts of romaine, and GROSS caesar dressing. "Gross" means the illest new form of kindness, all.

[an hour passes]

Damn, I just got back from havin' crostinis with the new couple, and Beef is hella in place! Witness:


RAY: Check out these GROSS crostini I whipped up for us! Even did some little prosciutto roses, can you dig it?

MOLLY: Wow! Thanks, Ray! This is totally nice! I love the little cocktail swords!

BEEF: [has Yankees baseball cap and sunglasses on, plus no shirt] Man that is a fine plate. You are a good dogg, Mr. Smuckles.

RAY: [notices that Beef is in a calm, confident place] Eat up, didgeridoo! Nice hat, by the way.

BEEF: I been wearin' hats. It suits a man.

MOLLY: I couldn't believe it. We pulled the RV into this big mall and he went right into this "Lids" baseball hat store and bought a Yankees cap.

BEEF: The Yankees got much money, all.

RAY: Valued at $1.2 billion, dogg!

BEEF: Yep. This an anchovy?

RAY: White anchovy. Not the nasty stuff. Mild as hell. Delicate. You got to try it.

BEEF: [bites, chews] Damn now that is a mild anchovy. That is fine, I can see what the fuss is about with these creatures. I bite into a regular anchovy, all oily and rancid, I go into a state. Not this time.

MOLLY: Oh, these are wonderful. And what's on those little watermelon cubes? Is that...tomato pulp?


See? See? The dude is changed up a bit. His talk came from a place of calmness. It's like he found this one disc he can stand on in the universe, a place where he has some balance. Good for him. It's gonna be fun talkin' with the new Beef.