Tonight's party, kind of a new thing

Me and the fellas got kind of exclusive last night over at Téodor's, and we came up with this really incredible, experimental theme for tonight's party. The theme is cones.

Yeah, cones. Think about it: cones are a pretty basic part of geometry, and therefore a fundamental part of the world. Martini glasses are cones, party hats are cones, bottles are kind of cone-ish...there are more, we made a list (but I lost it I think on the way home). We went on-line and ordered everything we could think of that is cone-like, and then thought up cone-style food. Spicy tuna hand-rolls are cones, ice cream sugar cones are cones...an almond is kind of shaped like a cone...

Oh, Jesus. Now we've done it. Dammit, we can't have a party based on cones. No one's going to care about that that is clever. Maybe if tonight's party was like a Beatles cartoon instead, but it's a real party where people don't want to wear cone hats and watch Conan O'Brien loops on a big conical pile of TVs.

Crap. What am I gonna do with all this cone stuff? And what am I gonna do about tonight's party? I better hand this stinker off to Waterbury, he's pretty good on his feet.