"I tell you, I got nothing but thanks this year. The good Lord has kept my spirits up, my friends healthy (except in a couple instances) and the reaper at bay. The sun shone, the sweet cream rose, and we woke anew each day. Thank you Lord, for this greatest gift, the gift of each new day. Many types do not think how lucky they have it just to open their eyes and take in the air. So on that note, let us enjoy this feast of your bounty, Lord. Amen. Thanks, man. Cool."
That was the toast I said at Thanksgiving. I don't usually trot out all the religion because I know lots of guests would get uncomfortable, but I was moved this year. It has been a pretty hard couple years to be an American. We live in constant fear of every building exploding and every bridge being hit by a 747 the moment we are going across it. Plus, earthquakes, E. coli, cross-contaminated chicken-prep surfaces, more than 2.5 drinks per week, secondhand smoke, salmonella, mad cow, limp-leg syndrome, and torqued-up gangster kids with puberty lip. You see how it is. Maybe we read too much news. I doubt French people walk around thinkin' that their chicken coop has two pounds of grey lightning hooked to a trip on the cage door latch, or that some dipshit from Fremont is gonna come over and ice 'em because he listened to too many Eminem mp3s.
Anyhow, I meant it, you know? I'm glad we have these holidays. Helps us think of other people. Speakin' of other people, we had a pretty mellow little scene at my place this year. Lyle is in Scotland doin' some research, Pat is on the lam, Cornelius was in the hospital because of Pat, and someone said they thought that Todd might be dead. It was just me, Téodor, Roast Beef, Philippe, and A-nu$$$ from the Sexual Homeboys, that band that used to be on my label. Apparently he had a falling out with the S.H. That's cool, because I always thought he was the real talent. Glad to have him back in my corner.
We had a brined, deep-fried turducken, a regular roasted Willy bird turkey, oyster/sausage dressing, whipped potatoes, sweet potatoes, green goddess salad, a Smithfield ham, puddings, a Cornish game hen bar, bacons, brown and white gravies, prime rib, savory mince pie, sweet mince pie, pumpkin pie, ice creams, a taffy-pulling station, two chopped up pineapples and a chocolate fondue with various dip-ready cookies, candies and fruits. To drink we enjoyed a couple cases of '97 Mayacamas Pinot. Delicate enough to go with any dish. We finished with this port that turned out to be pretty hinge so we set the extra bottles up on the lawn and had a little firing range while we smoked.