Thursday, November 16, 2006

I forgot everything I knew about computers!

Yo, peppers! I finally did it! A little while back, I learned a ton about computers. I'm talkin' from parity bits to the delicious seven layers of a TCP/IP stack. I even was gonna meet with a guy who taught introductory compilin', a secretive master from the old school, flew by the handle of 01100001-A. I was a super-fly "houndy-ass root boy," totally setting the permissions for all kinds of stuff—even starting to pwn on some users who had gotten out of hand on my IRC. (And getting results, I might add.)

One day I was buggin' on some l00p3r who'd been spazzin' out about god knows what, and I kind of had an awakening. I was like, "Hey! I ain't need no guff from some fools in this improvised fake-scape! What the?! I got to get into my yard and bust a fat jay and grill a pork medallion so tender it trembles when a butterfly flaps its wings in Japan!" (a chaos chop). I realized what a waste of time my "virtual" life was, when I saw that I was getting all my pleasure from changing "permissions" on a typing line.

I could see the appeal of computer worlds, for sure. I'd got in that far. You just learn a few words and ideas, and all of a sudden you're, like, fast-tracked to a corner office where a kid named @kr0n_12 wants to repeat everything you say to everyone he knows (three guys from the WHATS-YOUR-WPM boards). Hard to ignore that kind of easy ass-jockeying. Shame on old Ray for fallin' into another easy vice.

Anyhow, I been workin' with a hypnotherapist, and we got me to the point where I no longer desire punchin' in and batch-glockin' a bunch of eight-character goons with some vengeful kill -9 action. You get me down in front of a command line terminal, the hell I want a ham sandwich and a stroll 'round the pool. I find the whole concept distasteful, but I do not condescend. My guy is good, he has finesse. He keeps me gracious even in the face of my ghosts.

Have a good weekend, everyone! It's great to be free of computers again. I may hit the links, or drive a thousand miles in a direction, or try to buy one of those golden ducks with the hanged neck like they got in Chinatown. Either way, you can bet that I will not be aware if Internet avatars of Super Mario and Rivet Soldier Masobungyi are mad at each other over "religion" in the General Discussion channel.